out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
