I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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