Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
