I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
