sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
