Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize