Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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