just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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