I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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