Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
