i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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