Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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