Grow some girl-balls and come out already
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i drank out of a bidet.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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