We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
