im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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