We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
