When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
