All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
