Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
