So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
