he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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