i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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