Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
