Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
