how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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