you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
