I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
