I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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