i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
