I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
