if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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