we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize