There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
whose parrot is this?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
