just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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