Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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