They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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