his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
