No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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