Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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