I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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