dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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