A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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