I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
