p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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