So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
