At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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