he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
