I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize