I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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