Midget sex pt 2 tonight
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
