i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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