I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
