I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
