Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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