So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize