also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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