if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
