I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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