we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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