that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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