Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
