you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
